The Sears catalogue was my favorite reading material with the numerous foundation garments shown in it. I also discovered that I had strong transsexual feelings although I didn't have any idea what to call them. I loved to dress in corsets, girdles and bras and imagined myself as a woman. The sight of breasts on my chest sent shivers all up and down me. I wanted to wear women's underwear and feel it hold and confine my body and to have breasts. The idea of actually becoming a woman was an impossible dream in the 40s and 50s but it didn't stop me from wishing to become a woman. My ultimate dream was to be a female polio victim and to be in an iron lung at night and wear leg and body braces during the day. At the time I had never even heard of the word transvestite and thought I was the only person in the world who'd ever thought such things.I also found myself fascinated by another feeling I didn't have a name for. I liked to have my genitals trapped and inaccessible, usually under a. Gary was fighting back and threatened to bite off a guy’s dick if he tried to put it in his mouth so they raped him. I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran toward them. I would have scratched the eyes out of the first guy I got a hold of but Pete back handed me and I fell to the floor for the third time. It was too late. I felt so helpless laying there, crying while my man was being humiliated and brutalized. Everything was over now. I couldn’t stop bawling. My whole life was at an end. It was clear now, I had nothing left to live for and I was going to end it as soon as I got home. That didn’t happen though. Gary had called the police and they were there questioning me. They took me to the station where I confessed everything. Gary had told them Pete was the instigator and I cohobated his statement. I was locked up and never had the chance to get back home. I thought I would serve several years in prison but I was told Gary fought for me and I was given only six months. Why.
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